A Day in the Life...
By Chris Gaskey
Sometimes people may wonder how their favorite badass movie reviewers actually go about their lives: watching movies, reviewing movies, going to school/work, eating, sleeping, etc. So I decided, "Hey, for all my Chris-a-maniacs out there, I'll let 'em in on a day in the life!" But this isn't any ordinary day in the life you're getting ready to read about. Observe...
12/16-12/17, 11PM-1:30AM - I totally disregarded the fact that I would be watching the three-hour-long Two Towers the next morning, and I stayed up and watched It's a Wonderful Life (one of the greatest movies ever). I'll take the time right here to quote two of the movie's morals, which I believe in wholeheartedly: "Each man's life touches so many other lives. If he wasn't around it would leave an awful hole." and "No man is a failure who has friends."
12/17, 3:45PM - For most of the day, I did what I do best: absolutely jack shit. Well, jack shit, post on my fave EZ Boards, and contemplate my next move with this site. While working on some buttons for my personal message board (http://pub11.ezboard.com/bgaskey) and listening to Audioslave at full blast, I almost missed my ride to theatre! But never fear, kiddies, for I obviously rectified the situation and caught him! Yay!
12/17, 4:30PM - We arrived at the theatre, and to our astonishment there wasn't a line and they let us buy our Two Towers midnight tickets early! This left us with one little problem, however: here we were, 30 minutes from our town with approximately seven and a half hours to kill. Do we burn the gas to drive back home, or do we stick around and wait? Guess which one we did...
12/17, 5PM - As a special added bonus to the moviegoing experience of the day, we went to the local mall and picked up my reserved copy of the DVD I have anticipated more than any other: The Back to the Future Trilogy!!! Well worth the $44.99 I paid for it... Anyway, after we bought the DVD, we wandered around the mall for what seemed like forever, and we ate at this really good all-you-want-to-eat place (Hometown Buffet). After we ate and ridiculed the idiots who brought their pets to "Pet Night" at the Santa Claus stand (which is right beside the restaurant), we figured we'd wasted enough time and we headed back to the theatre. It was only 7PM...
12/17, 7:30PM - After trying for half an hour to get some sleep, I finally dozed off. Following my everlasting trend of movie-based dreams, I became Kyle in The Terminator. The weird part was that I didn't dream the entire movie verbatim (like I usually do). My brain seemed to skip over everything up until the hotel love-making scene, and then it fast-forwarded to the end: the T-800 is vanquished, I die, Sarah lives, Sarah's pregnant, the end. Maybe this is my subconscious telling me that I really miss my girlfriend. That, or I have the hots for Sarah. Or I'm just a perv. I think I'll go with the first one...
12/17, 10PM - So this is where we're at. Interesting bit of narrative, eh? It's only two hours until the premier of the second greatest sequel of all-time (it will take a very superlative effort to beat The Godfather Part II). I'll get back with you later and let you know how my evening wrapped up, and I'll introduce you to my short review of The Two Towers.
12/18, 3:15AM - Good God almighty...I am in complete and utter awe. This movie has left me with the most intense non-sexual afterglow I have ever experienced. Not since my first viewings of The Godfather films have I beheld such cinematic masterpiece. This film has re-instilled my faith in the chance of good films actually being produced in this crap-filled, crap-sequel-clad Hollywood cesspool of cinema. Here's my short review of the second greatest sequel ever.
Well, there you have it. In most ways, this is a typical day in the life of this movie reviewing God (aside from a lot more 'net time logged). I hope you enjoyed this insight into what makes a deity like me tick. Now go on, continue your still-meaningless existences.
*I would just like to note that anything within this narrative that can be deemed egotistical in any way is purely tongue-in-cheek. I only pretend to be a deity when it serves me a greater purpose. Also, when you're bored out of your fucking skull while waiting for a movie to start, you actually think crap like what I just wrote might be deemed as "entertaining". I'm sorry for the time I have costed you by reading this tripe. But look at it this way, you'll want the time you just wasted reading this back less than the time you lost by watching Steel Magnolias...
