A Belated Opinion of Oscar Night 2002
By Chris Gaskey

There is only one thing that comes to my mind when I discuss the 2002 Oscars: Denzel Washington.

I find it an insult to Sean Penn (I Am Sam) and that pompous ass Russell Crowe (A Beautiful Mind) that Denzel Washington won the Best Actor Oscar. Don't get me wrong - I'm not trying to be racist or anything of the sort, but the Oscars did seem to be, quite overwhelmingly, an African-American Appreciation Show. Not to mention, on a surprisingly lesser note, a 9/11 Tribute Show.

At least Penn and Crowe actually had to act in their parts--Penn portrayed a mentally handicapped single father seeking custody of his child, and Crowe played a schizophrenic genius mathmetician. Washington played the overworn, overly cliché role of a bad-ass rogue cop. Thanks goes out to Yahweh that Ron Howard and Jennifer Connelly, both affiliated with A Beautiful Mind, won in the other 2 major categories, or else the Academy would be having a grand old time sorting through my hate mail. Which they ought to be anyway, seeing as Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring should have swept every damn category it was nominated in. Moulin-fucking-Rouge had Best Costume Design??? Your mother's ass!

I've gotten the argument quite often since Oscar night that the Academy has been, for too long, throwing awards at people who play mentally handicapped characters. But, do you think it's any better that they throw awards at Black people? I find it quite suspicious that on the same night, the first ever African-American Best Actress is crowned, an African-American wins Best Actor for the first time since 1963, the very actor who won in '63 was given a Lifetime Acheivement Oscar, and Whoopi Goldberg was the host. Now, I'm not denying that these people don't deserve recognition, at least on a nomination level, but I think the Academy's choices were heavily based on political correctness in light of 9/11.

After reading what I think of Denzel's role in Training Day you may think that I haven't seen it, and it was much more than what I think of it. Au contraire. I have seen Training Day--I found it no better than any Steven Seagal movie I've ever seen; which is not to say I don't like SOME of Seagal's work. But, have you ever seen an Oscar worthy performance by Seagal?

But all of that aside, I can think of many better ways to spend my money than seeing Training Day, and you can throw me bucketfuls of 'tards any day. But despite all of what was previously stated about said flick, I at no point said that the movie did not deserve a viewing. By all means, watch it and form your own opinions. That's the wonderful thing about having "a beautiful mind." (ooh, I'm good...)

Hey, but what do I know? I'm a guy who likes that no-talent, egotistical assclown Kevin Smith, right?