If you're from this planet, I'm sure you've seen the photographic evidence of George Lucas' senility, The Phantom Menace. Without drudging up old hard feelings, I'll just mention that it is no mystery that this film set off a small nuclear warhead in the proverbial asses of the diehard Star Wars community. It seems as though George Lucas in all his demented glory insists on ruining Star Wars for us. Despite the fact that we were the ones that put George Lucas on the map, we are now helpless against this Goliath known as Lucasfilms, LTD. Or are we? One fan didn't think so.
This one Star Wars fan, known only as "The Phantom Editor", decided to take the title of "David" while thrusting his middle finger in the air at this Goliath. He hates Episode I for the same reasons most Star Wars fans do, but realized that there was much promise with its footage. So he/she spent many hours in front of his/her computer editing the movie as it probably should have been edited in the first place. A whopping 33 minutes of footage was eliminated, and some scenes were shuffled around a bit to make a tad more sense. The result? A much more concise film that should surely be adopted as the Special Edition of Episode I.
I really was not expecting much, as the editor was an amateur, but I was truly impressed with his vision. Jar Jar Binks is no longer a nuisance but is actually *GASP* enjoyable. There is no longer 45 minutes of fuckers in ponchos and cloaks walking around in the middle of the movie. And the ending is much more suspenseful instead of the current montage of three of the director's wet dreams, where it seems pretty obvious that he couldn't determine exactly which ending gave him the most orgasmic pleasure. What I'm trying to say is most of the mistakes have been eliminated, and the movie goes from tolerable to enjoyable.
Some fans who have seen The Phantom Edit claim that it is an improvement, but by no means Oscar-award material. Well, no matter how much this editor edited, you must remember it is still the same old footage. There's only so much he can do to make it better. Short of installing a blue screen in his house and reshooting some of the scenes correctly, his hands were pretty tightly tied. Don't go into this flick expecting to see a film rivalling the first trilogy, because it simply won't happen. However, you can go in expecting to come away satisfied, and you WILL receive that. You've heard of a "Director's Cut"? This is even better. This is the "Fan Cut". Even the biggest enemy of The Phantom Menace should not deprive themselves of this experience.
Just to clear myself of any implication whatsoever, I do not know who The Phantom Editor is and I do not have a copy of The Phantom Edit. I merely got the opportunity to view it. And before you ask, I cannot and will not get you a copy. It was once upon a time that all you had to do was e-mail this guy and he sent you a copy at no charge. Now that Lucasfilms got wind of The Phantom Editor and is looking to prosecute him, pretty much all Internet connections to The Phantom Editor have been all but erased. I've heard many rumors regarding this so called "Phantom Editor", with the most interesting being that it was the director Kevin Smith (Clerks, Chasing Amy). Smith has denied this claim but has admitted to seeing The Phantom Edit.
As a writer and a filmmaker, on a purely professional level I understand Lucas' zero-tolerance policy for bootleggers and people like The Phantom Editor. However, on a personal level I feel he invites it by being a complete moron with his work. He has a knack of setting himself up for bootleggers and alternate edits of his films. For example, he is refusing to re-release the original editions of the original trilogy of Star Wars again. He's ruining the flow of Star Wars by making little (but many) mistakes in continuity between the prequels and the later Episodes. And yet, instead of admitting these errors and going on with his life, he is planning on revising the last three again into "Ultimate Editions" to include characters and subplots from the prequels. In 20 years, the only way you'll be able to see the original Star Wars (otherwise known as the Star Wars we all grew up with, the Star Wars we all know and love, the Star Wars that put him on the map, and the best fucking versions of Star Wars) is on bootlegged DVDs and very degraded VHS tapes. With asinine behavior like this, it's no wonder that Lucasfilm is the only franchise which would cause a person like The Phantom Editor to exist.
And while they have been silenced, I guarantee that they will not be the last. While many of us (myself included) will keep our grumbling to Internet webpages behind anonymous screen names, some rebellious diehard will rise up and do his damndest to preserve the original magic that Lucas started and is obviously trying to destroy. And if you think I'm alone in my feelings, just look at the diehard Star Wars pages floating on the net. If you do, you'll see that a whopping majority feels the same way that I do. The Phantom Editor and people like him who put the preservation of a good film over Lucas' severely skewed opinion will strike again and again wearing many different faces. I hope you got your police hat on, George, because you're going to be doing a lot of chasing in the future. |
